I recently added Crazy, Stupid, Love. to my top movies list; the movie is fantastic. It constantly makes me laugh, and it also sends tears down my cheeks. Love does that to us too. As pointed out in the movie, “You don’t give up on your soul mate,” and as audiences witness, sometimes you have to wait until that significant person is ready to connect vulnerably (sometimes they hide that love as they prepare), and you should remind them of your relentless devotion.
The opening scene shows the married couple out to a dinner that concludes with Emily (Julianne Moore) admitting to her husband Cal (Steve Carell) that she wants a divorce, putting Cal in a position where he must wait unrelentingly for his soul mate to be ready to be together again. We see Cal as he tries to move on and then comes back to fight for his love.
Numerous times Cal subtly demonstrates that he hasn’t given up hope on his marriage. He always shows a strong desire to talk about his wife and children even though Jacob, the suave friend he makes at the bar, instructs him to no longer do that, and he sneaks into the backyard at night to tend to the plants and yard. One evening, Cal watches through the window as his wife calls the kids down for ice cream and she heads into another room. She picks up her phone to make a call, and Cal sees she’s calling him. The scene exemplifies that they truly still hold onto their love but they are not quite ready to admit it and return to their marriage.
Emily says she needs help with the heat lamp, but, as he sees, the call goes deeper than that. He looks on at her as he stands outside the window, holding onto his hope. Fortunately he gets some tangible assurance that his wife still reciprocates love; he just has to grant her the distance she needs before she returns, and he has to show her that he will not give up on their marriage.
Ultimately Cal exemplifies two qualities that help him keep his marriage: patient endurance and relentless devotion. Though his situation takes place in a marriage relationship and involves enduring hardship (infidelity in this case), the traits he demonstrates can apply to those people who have yet to find their mate. He waits for his soul mate to be ready again, and he fights for her, making sure she knows he’s there for her. Sometimes you have to utilize these traits in a love relationship; your significant other does not always arrive at the same points at exactly the same time as you do. You or the other person may have more growth to do before being adequately prepared to begin such a relationship so it endures. Desires and needs do not always come to you right away, but you may find reward in patiently enduring. During the wait, you might comfort the other person in reminding him or her of your relentless devotion. This demonstrates a genuine and strong love that can withstand the wait for that soul mate.
God created you to be in relationship. Most importantly you find completion in maintaining one with Him, but you need human support as well. You naturally long for a soul mate to share life together. However, the answer to the prayer for that person does not come immediately. You must first establish yourself in relationship to God and find some satisfaction in yourself. That provides a foundation in which to build further with a significant other, which indicates some personal preparation first. During that period, you patiently wait for that time to come. Song of Songs declares, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires” (3:5).
However, if searching, it should be done actively. Your soul mate most likely will not come knock on your door unprovoked; you need to put efforts out to be available (or to initiate things if you are the gentleman). The relentless devotion also comes into play here. People ease into relationships; knowing that the person you’re falling for will catch you helps. At first Cal attempted to let Emily go as she requested, but he came back and made it known to her that he would not give up. This allowed her to follow her desire to maintain their marriage and then draw closer once ready again.
Patient endurance and relentless devotion play an important role in developing and maintaining a romantic relationship. Cal gave his wife space as she needed it to prepare herself, and he made it known to her that he would not give up on her. You should take up these two traits too, starting with building a foundation rooted in a relationship with God. Then as you build up, waiting for the time to awaken that love, you can make your devotion to that person known when it comes.
